A Look into Nepali Behaviors

One of the reasons I wanted to live in a foreign culture after SAS was because I wanted to dig into a culture and understand it on a deeper level. As this isn’t possible when visiting a foreign country for a week, I chose to live in a foreign country for a year. However, even after being here for 8 months, I have come to realize that I will never fully understand the culture and keep on making culture mistakes. In this blog post, though, I want to share with you what I have discovered about the Nepali culture after 8 months time.

Nepali people’s top priority when it comes to interactions and behavior is to 1) always be kind, and 2) always show respect to those older than you. So it makes it easy to meet new people as you’ll rarely find a person who shows rudeness towards you. People are generally friendly with one another and do not show judgments. Therefore, it is an enjoyable time to be around Nepali people because they surround us with a welcoming spirit. Nepalis, as mentioned, also show respect to others. They bow to the feet of their elders when entering their home and they ask permission to do anything from their teachers and parents. Because of these two priorities, Nepali interactions are typically enjoyable.

However, as every culture has its good and bad, Nepal does too. And the bad actually is in result of the good. When a person must always show kindness to another, they will hold back from sharing true feelings or thoughts. They don’t want to be rude to that person, so instead they will go to another friend or relative and share their thoughts. This creates lots of lying, dishonesty, and distrust in the culture. I honestly have never been around so much lying in my life, and I have realized it’s because they are trying to save face and keep a good relationship. Although I would argue that a relationship where there’s no honesty and talking behind backs is not a real relationship. Also in result of this, Nepalis approach conflict indirectly. They will send someone else to talk out the problem rather than go themselves. If they are talking directly to you, they will discuss the problem in a very indirect way, or complain about something that isn’t even the issue, hoping that the other person will pick up on what the problem actually is.

Nepalis loooove to talk. Sometimes I think they have forgotten to breathe! Because of this, they will often take great interest in foreigners and ask many questions. I also enjoy it in Nepali friendships when I personally am not feeling so talkative and just want to listen to the other, and they hand that right to me, naturally! However, often they will end up just talking from their own view. Sometimes I have struggled with this because I feel I don’t get a chance to say anything or give my input because I don’t like to interrupt. But the Nepali style is to just talk over each other! So there may be 2 or 3 people talking at the same time! Often too, in the case of conflict, they are stern on standing their ground and not really listening to what the others are saying. Everyone wants to win, therefore no one wins (maybe this is why there’s still hardly an intact government). It also results in a lot of talk, and little action. Again, just look at all the government rules that have not been implemented.

Nepalis are much more laid-back than Americans. They are people-oriented, not time-oriented, so they will do what they are doing until they feel it is finished. It is nice to be able to enjoy a friend and know it’s okay if you’re late to your next appointment. You also don’t even need to make an appointment to go to a friend’s house. You’re welcome to just stop by whenever you want, without an appointment and even without an invitation! However, again this has its downside. It seems if you make plans, there’s about a 25% chance they will go through. They also will change plans but not notify anyone about the changes. It has resulted in very low commitment levels, including jobs. It is not unusual for teachers to be an hour late to their own class, not show up to school because they want to go to their friend’s house, or end their term just a few months in the middle of the school year. This makes it difficult for institutions and even society to grow.

Overall, I enjoy the Nepali culture’s welcoming attitude but I won’t lie in saying that there are some things that drive me crazy! But this will happen anywhere. Even in my own American culture, there are things that drive me crazy. With each culture, there are great characteristics that make it unique. There are also bad characteristics that hold it back. So these are my 8 month conclusions from observations, interactions, and discussions with Nepalis and foreigners.



As for me, the school year at Elim has started after the New Year of 2068. Although this week isn’t what you may expect for the first week of school- such as half the students missing, many teachers missing, not teaching classes yet, interviewing teachers the day before school starts and hiring them during the first week… Maybe this falls into the “laid-back” and “noncommittal” aspects of Nepal : ) So, I hope you all are well!